A Short Manual of Modern Brunch Etiquette

Brunch etiquette is mostly common sense, but common sense is in short supply at 11:30 on a Saturday morning when the room is full and the table behind you has been waiting forty minutes for theirs. A short list of habits, gently held, makes the whole room work better. Arrive on time, with everyone. Hosts cannot seat partial parties at most brunch restaurants because the kitchen is firing tables in waves.

If your friend is twenty minutes late, the table waits for them and the room jams behind you. Either text the group an honest arrival time or accept the bar until everyone shows. Order roughly together. Brunch kitchens fire by table, not by diner, so the slow person staring at the menu is the reason the fast person's eggs are getting cold under the heat lamp.

Pick what you want, order it, and keep moving. Eat at a reasonable pace. The table-turn at brunch is the kitchen's livelihood. If you've finished and you're still chatting, ask for the check, pay, and move to the bar or to a sidewalk coffee.

The host will love you. The kitchen will love you. The table waiting outside in the cold will love you most. Don't camp on Wi-Fi.

Brunch is not a coffee shop, and the diners behind you would like the seat. If you want to work, find a real cafe; brunch rooms are paid for by the food. Communicate dietary restrictions politely and early. Most kitchens are happy to accommodate and most servers are well-trained.

Drop the information at the start of the meal, not after the food has been fired. Tip generously and tip in cash when you can. Speak kindly to the host, who is enduring more than you can see. Say thank you to the busser, who is the engine of the room.

Bring the second wave of friends back to a place you loved. The polite diner is the regular the room remembers, and the regular gets the better table next month.